08 March 2013

So where was I.

Ah yes.  I went out last night.  Just a social thing with some friends in a pub.  But the pub's in Putney, about an hour's drive away.  No biggie, thought I.  And it wasn't, really.  Got there ok.  Parked no problem.  Then it got harder.

I'd put my FES on, so walking was a bit easier, but every step was an effort, not helped by the rain on the ground.  I was continually wary of my sticks slipping.  But I made it to the door.  A very nice man held the door open.  As I stepped through, my sticks slipped on the wooden floor boards.

Quite how he caught me I shall never know, but he put one arm out and steadied me.  I made it gingerly round to where my friends were sitting and collapsed onto a chair.

I enjoyed the 1 1/2 hours I spent there.  But I'm not sure I'll go again.

I think of it as part of my 'farewell tour', a last trip to places where I have been so happy.  I sat next to my ex; the conversation was cordial, but maybe a little strained.  That made me sad.  Not surprised, but sad.

I know I'm not easy to be with, and I certainly bear her no ill-will.  She looked beautiful.  But I had to accept that we will never be more than friends.