2 July 2007 (extra)

I was trying to find the right way to express this, and the right medium to use. I still don’t know if this is it, but here goes.

I am once again feeling frustrated. I spent a fair part of the weekend sleeping. It feels good. It’s the only time I don’t feel exhausted. Obvious, perhaps, but normal people wake up from a good sleep feeling refreshed and alive. I don’t.

I feel frustrated because there seems no solution, no end, no way out of it. It just goes on and on and on. I can’t seem to get any symptomatic relief, or any treatment, or drugs to slow down progression, or fucking anything.

Am I angry? Well no, ok, I don’t really do angry. I just stew and mull things over and feel like there must be something more than all of this.

The constant tiredness and lack of balance and inability to walk any distance is really pissing me off.