3 May 2007

It’s been a while since I wrote one of these, which I suppose indicates that I don’t feel the need to write so much any more. I had a great meeting with Maureen, my MS nurse. We talked about how things are and have been, and she’s going to follow up on my fatigue, and getting my some physio. All good stuff.

I’ve also applied for disability living allowance. I imagine the application process is geared to stop you getting anything, so I tried to read around what they were asking. In truth, not to put too fine a point on it, in some ways I’m fucked. My legs don’t do what I want of them. Walking is a permanent nightmare. For sure I get on with life, but it’s just not the same as it was.

The good thing is friends that don’t care about it. I have one old friend and one new friend, whose indifference towards my ‘condition’ (no idea what is it – a condition, an illness, a disease?) is reassuring. It means I can feel more normal, not that I am defined by MS. After all, my mind still works, and I can get around by car, less easily by public transport, by plane or even modest distances walking. I shall get used to doing what I can, all that I can, as much as I can, when I can.

I plan for my life to be happy, to make others happy and, when it eventually happens, to die with my boots on. Or in bed. But not sleeping. If you get my drift. Life is for living. If the MS wants to stick around, it’ll have to keep up with me!