30 August 2006

It’s becoming difficult to tell the difference, one day to the next, as to how my symptoms feel. The baseline is it feels broadly no different, and I think that’s a reasonable description. However, today my legs do feel a little more tired, I think, but conversely I’ve been consciously walking a bit more “normally”. Halfway to the station this morning, I had a brief spell of nearly tripping over my feet. This seems to happen when my legs tire and so I don’t lift them properly. It’s a warning when it happens on smooth level pavement, but I guess if it were to happen on an uneven surface, as it did on the walk near Ightham Mote, on a path criss crossed by tree roots, it would just lead to tripping.

Actually thinking about Ightham Mote, I think I can pinpoint it back to that weekend as the first time I realised something was wrong. Possibly not the first time the symptoms had shown themselves (since it is human nature to ignore symptoms of anything until it becomes a problem), but the first time I was aware that things were not right. I’d deliberately chosen that walk to include hills and if I’d have known how difficult I might find it I’d have done something else I’m sure. So that’s 18 June. Somehow it’s good to have a date. It feels good that I can put a start point on it all.

I’ve also noticed that my fingertips feel a little less numb today. At least I think the tips feel as numb or even more numb, but it’s only the very tips, rather than extending to the fingerprints (or whatever that part of the finger is called – I guess it’s not something we normally have to differentiate). On the other hand (no pun intended) my arms feel a bit strained this morning.

I will need to figure out when I’m going to go back to the gym. I don’t really want to do it during the week, in case it wipes me out – I know it shouldn’t, but let’s remove all the possible worries. If I can do a weekend, then I can have time to recover if need be. And additionally, I can go on the Saturday and Sunday if I get on ok, and then prepare myself for an evening or two in the week. This weekend I have the kids, so that’s out, and I have next weekend free. I guess that’s the time to do it. And it gives me plenty of time to get ready for the challenge.