27 May 2009
It is finished. At last, today, through the kindness of a number of people, I am finally able to move on with my life. I don't imagine for one moment it will be easy; I've never found it particularly easy to let go of anyone that I have felt close to. But I have had the support and counsel of a numbr of people who understand me. Some of it has been quite brutal, but none of it unreasonable.
In some ways, it would perhaps be easier if I found myself in more stereotypical situations. I can distinctly remember conversations where people have talked about their in-laws in less-than glowing terms - the 'mother-in-law' jokes of yesteryear, of Les Dawson, Reginald Perrin and the like. But I have never experienced that. I still get on well with my ex-wife's mother. I got on well with my ex-girlfriend's father, and it was he who helped me finally to resolve the tortuous situation with her.
A cynical person might say that he had an ulterior motive for doing so but, based on my experience today, I doubt that. There was a genuine warmth and concern discernible in him, and he made what could have been very difficult encounter amicable and as painless as it could have been.
For sure I was not the ideal partner for his daughter; every father has, I am sure, a vision of his progeny partnered with someone who will bring as much to the relationship as they stand to gain from it. With the MS I looked, at he most generous assessment, as a bad bet. That my finances are now exhausted whilst I am still spliced, legally at least, to my wife (although I refer to her as my ex, the marriage has never been formally terminated) makes me a less-than perfect prospect. But that was never an apparent issue. Perhaps he is just kind, and unwilling to hurt me. I will never know.
All I do know is that he was kind to me when I needed him to be, helpful when I was batting my head against a brick wall in trying, admittedly in a rather ham-fisted manner, to resolve the dying embers of my relationship. For that I am, and will remain, grateful.
In some ways, it would perhaps be easier if I found myself in more stereotypical situations. I can distinctly remember conversations where people have talked about their in-laws in less-than glowing terms - the 'mother-in-law' jokes of yesteryear, of Les Dawson, Reginald Perrin and the like. But I have never experienced that. I still get on well with my ex-wife's mother. I got on well with my ex-girlfriend's father, and it was he who helped me finally to resolve the tortuous situation with her.
A cynical person might say that he had an ulterior motive for doing so but, based on my experience today, I doubt that. There was a genuine warmth and concern discernible in him, and he made what could have been very difficult encounter amicable and as painless as it could have been.
For sure I was not the ideal partner for his daughter; every father has, I am sure, a vision of his progeny partnered with someone who will bring as much to the relationship as they stand to gain from it. With the MS I looked, at he most generous assessment, as a bad bet. That my finances are now exhausted whilst I am still spliced, legally at least, to my wife (although I refer to her as my ex, the marriage has never been formally terminated) makes me a less-than perfect prospect. But that was never an apparent issue. Perhaps he is just kind, and unwilling to hurt me. I will never know.
All I do know is that he was kind to me when I needed him to be, helpful when I was batting my head against a brick wall in trying, admittedly in a rather ham-fisted manner, to resolve the dying embers of my relationship. For that I am, and will remain, grateful.
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