Saturday 24 September 2016

24 September 2016

Today has been surreal. I was accused of lying on my profile on a dating site.  In my defence, I had a link to this blog on my profile, it explained that I have MS and included a photo of 'old smokey'. Granted, it wasn't a recent pic of 'old smokey', but I didn't feel the old girl had weathered too badly,and certainly didn't deserve the hysterical "lies lies lies". 

I must try to avoid psychotic illiterates in future. 

Saturday 17 September 2016

17 September 2016

I'm unsure if it's the beginning of the end, the end of the beginning, or something else. What I do know is that I feel totally humiliated. That's nobody else's doing. It's all my own work.

The past week I've had problems with the toilet. I can go perfectly well (thanks for asking) I just have struggled to get onto the toilet and to get off it. Such a simple task. I've been doing it for decades. Quite successfully too. But no longer.

It has reached the point where I have become terrified of sitting on it. It is so simple to have a pee; I just slide a catheter into my utethra and point it as the porcelain. So simple I can almost do it with my eyes shut (although thinking about the importance of aiming makes keeping my eyes open preferable).

The trouble is when I need to (as Jimmy Carr put it) "grow a tail". Moving onto the seat it a challenge (day before yesterday I ended up laying by the side of the Armitage Shanks, unable to move. And after laying the cable, I was unable to dismount.

Some would say that I shouldn't worry. Others will rescue me.  It's true. They did. And again today. They do it without a murmur. It was as it is the most natural thing in the world.

But I felt humiliated. I want to do that all on my own, and I can't.