Thursday 25 February 2010

25 February 2010

I have just read my last post from last year, and it is a little out of date.

Since then, my relationship has ended, I started dating someone else and that ended, and I'm now kind of seeing someone else. The common thread between these events is that none of the failed ones failed because of my MS. It would be far too easy to ascribe blame to MS - well, it was easy in the past, because it very much seemed that way, and all indications were that it was a major factor - but in truth, the more recent ones have been all my fault.

That's perhaps not an entirely positive realisation, but at least it's honest.

For the time being, I am very happy with my lot in life. I have a new friend - at least I'm fairly sure I have - who may in the fullness of time turn into something more. Whether that happens or not, only time will tell, but I am content to let life take its course.

25 February 2010

I thought I'd finished writing this. I mean, things are pretty settled. Life isn't entirely settled but that's just the way it is. Right?

Well not quite. MS is still my constant companion, obviously, and I find myself embracing it more. That's not to say I've given up - far from it. But I am more accepting of the limitations it places on me

I know that my energy levels are shot, that I have to think ahead when I want to do anything - not exactly plan it like a military operation, but plan nonetheless.

And I am - with not inconsiderable help from my wonderful family and some magnificent people in the social care arena - getting lots of things sorted out.

Finally I nay actually have suitable housing. It's odd that I was so at ease in my flat that I hadn't stopped to think how hard it makes life. Everything from taking a shower to cooking a simple meal is such a drain on my energy that it's not funny.

I'm also getting a powered wheelchair. This will be another major compromise for me, but I think it may be an enormous benefit. I will actually be able to talk to companions without them bending forward if they're pushing me. I can feel a part of what is going on again.